America’s Next Top Model | Season 18, Episode 5

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by Josh Shonewolf

Pose. Pose. Smile with your eyes. Another week, another episode of America’ Next Top Model. Last week we bid farewell to hard-as-nails expressionless, Candace, and that left us with five American girls vs five British girls. Azmarie is still the top girl, as she’s been called out first two weeks in a row, at panel. Can she keep up this pace?

This week is all about go-sees, the kiss of death in Top Model past seasons, as booking zero go-sees means that YOU AIN’T A REAL MODEL. And usually booking none can send a rising Top Model contestant home. The girls are all going to be competing for spots in legit fashion shows in Toronto Fashion Week.

Fresh-faced pink-haired Brit, Sophie and sweet-as-pie American, Eboni booked 50% of their go-sees. They won the challenge, and they get to walk in those four booked shows, in front of the jealous bores that booked nada. Some didn’t do as well as Sophie & Eboni, as some models stumbled. Catherine has been simply blending in the past few weeks, turning up the volume when it’s time for the photo shoot, but she really hasn’t done anything to stand out. The only thing special about her has been that fuschia weave, but she booked no go-sees. Other models that booked no go-sees were Ashley and plus-size goddess, Seymone.

At rehearsal for the shows, Kyle and Laura got fired by one of the fashion designers, as their walks failed to impress. What a cutthroat industry. Then the shows begin. It’s lights, camera, fashion. Let the models walk. They all did amazing jobs on the runway, especially Azmarie who looked like a true blue veteran. Seymone was on the sidelines sulking, and Mr. Jay gave her the pep talk that she needed. Sophie and Eboni are full steam ahead, both booked four, did amazing jobs, and now it’s time for an amazing photo.

The photo shoot was very odd. It featured the models posing with fake-looking leaves glued to their bodies, with maple syrup pouring on their heads. Tyra’s giant head has run out of ideas! Catherine announced that she needed a strong photo, or she was a goner, after not being booked for any catwalk shows. Bubbly Ashley also booked none, and her ego was bruised, as she failed to bring life to her photoshoot. The maple syrup pours down her face, and there was nothing sweet about it. She flopped and she knew it.

PR Viper Kelly Cutrone had an extra demented look in her eye at panel. Watch out, ladies. Tyra unleashed her claws, and one-by-one the ladies are safe. Two Brits are left standing. Catherine and Ashley are in the bottom, and Tyra told them that it was due to them booking no go-sees and not particularly standing out yet. Catherine’s unbelievably gorgeous photo saved her, and Ashley was sent packing. No one will miss her. Wow, that was mean of me. Oh, well. Tough industry…one more girl down, 9 left standing. Can Azmarie, Sophie, and Eboni keep this pace up? Can Catherine be inspired to turn her ANTM ship around? Oh, and don’t forget to SMIZE.

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America’s Next Top Model | Season 18, Episode 4
America’s Next Top Model | Season 18, Episode 3

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