Tamera Mowry Housley On Celibacy Before Marriage: “It’s Got To Be God’s Way…”

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Tamera Mowry Housley star of Tia & Tamera recently spoke to Ebony Magazine and admitted that she and her husband Adam owe their marriage to God. She and Adam made the decision to be celibate before they were married, as well as not live together before their nuptials either.

“Adam and I took a break from dating for about a year. We missed each other and something was drawing us together, but more than that, we wanted to make sure that this relationship was what God wanted for our lives. [In order to know] if we are meant to be together, we said, ‘it’s got to be God’s way and not our way.’ We didn’t want to half-step anything [or have clouded judgment]. So our right way was the way we felt God wanted us to do it which was being celibate. We said to God, ‘This is who we are, I know you take us as we are, our faults, our fears, our joys, our hope as a couple and have your way.’

I tried the ‘missionary dating’ [in the past] where you have a person with a great heart who you think is perfect and wonderful except for this one important area that you try to change. That’s unfair to that person. That person needs to be who they are 100%. And it’s unfair to you. You don’t want to drag somebody to church with you. My husband wakes up on Sundays and says ‘Hey, are we going to church today?’ It just makes [waiting] all worthwhile. I dated guys who did not share those same beliefs and it was hard. There were many nights of heartbreak and crying, and that’s not what God wants for us.

But if you want to be celibate, definitely don’t live together [laughs] because that makes it harder for you. Have people around you to keep you accountable! Surround yourself with people who support your decision, because they’re only going to root you on. Make that covenant with God and with each other and just let go. God is going to see you through the difficult times. Whenever you’re feeling discouraged just pray together. Like I said it’s not going to be a perfect journey, but you just have to keep God the center of your relationship.”

Amen! What are your thoughts. Post your comments below.

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  • Hall_vicky1958

    I love this story!  Such great examples.  God bless  you both.

    • Bajankiss

      I shared this with my daughter who is struggling with being celibate with a wonderful man she ask God to bring into her life. This was uplifting to her and was a source of encouragement and strength she needed. Thank you for sharing and may God continue to bless your union.

  • Guest

    Amen Tamera! xoxo

  • Msjla85

    Go ahead tamera!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was very very encouraging! Thank you for sharing and allowing your light to shine for others to see!

  • Daretosayforever

    I love what she said! And I agree 100%..I was really emotional reading this because most people see this as weird. She is a definite role model! I waited also and I can’t express enough how blessed my husband an I are!! God bless you and your marriage tamera! And God bless your baby!

  • MissB*

    I absolutely love this couple. They made an awesome decision and because they did it God’s way, they will have a lasting, loving marriage.

  • I love this post and your courage for being an ambassador for God. So many people try to fit in the world’s way of thinking and say what they think others want to here. You are about kingdom business and it’s THAT KIND of attitude that will allow you to be even more blessed! I am getting married to my live-in daughter’s father next year and this has been a grueiling topic for us. I desire so much for God right now and for my children’s lives that with or without him, I am going to stand on His promises! Thank you for this word of encouragement Tamera!

  • novena

    I am happy for you two and agree 100%.  

  • Dunnkeyonna

    Wow thats great!

  • My wife and I were virgins before we wed. I had to break the generational curse of divorce that plagued my family. We dated a year and have been married 12 with 3 beautiful girls to show for it. God’s way is always the best way! Congrats Adam and Tamera!!!

  • When you do it right, God will Bless it Right!!

  • Mbutler223

    AMEN! I love that you guys kept God as the center of your relationship and followed His word. I see so many doing things the worlds way becsuse they worry about what others may say when we should always be worried about what God says. You encouraged me Tamera and as a single mom it is hard to stay strong. Thank you for sharing!

  • Shema7997

    This was very encouraging. Thank you Tamera for sharing with the work your faith. It is not too many famous people who are not ashamed to share Jesus to others. May God bless you, Adam, and Baby Housley

  • Tashavsu

    It’s very encouraging to see you both being celibate before marriage. That tells me that it can be done! I have been celibate for almost 2 years since my divorce and vowed that I would be until I am married. I am just waiting on God to bring the man He has for me to go on this journey. God bless u both.

  • Keresegreen

    That is an amazing post I didn’t know that there were celebs Who thought that way n took it seriously it has spoken to me because thats what I want for my relationship

  • Simplydivine42

    I love it! I’m now going through this with an amazing guy! Please pray for our strength!

  • S Conditt

    Tamara and Adam that is wonderful!!! My husband and I did they same before we were married. We have been married for 3 years now.  God Bless you and Adam

  • Cocoprincess3200

    This is so inspiring. I’m glad she decided to share her story. I’m also glad that she is in a happy and healthy marriage.

  • shay

    So is she saying in all the break ups and getting back together, they never had sex? Is she saying she was a Virgin? Because that is what God wants… us to be virgins when we wed!

    • Myjlove08

      Well shay no one is perfect at al. I’m not a virgin but I’m celibate as well. Gid doesn’t condone what a person does in the past. Gods blessing isn’t going to go away because she married calibate then a virgin. Gods blessing is still in their marriage

    • Skegee

      If you’ve had sex, there’s always forgiveness and the chance to start fresh! :-) I don’t think she was saying she’s a virgin, but she committed to doing things right the second time around and she was blessed for it. 

  • Safeinhisarms777

    You are both an inspiration. God is going to reward you both for putting him first. GOD BLESS YOU!!!!

  • Skegee

    LOVE THIS! Thank you for being such a great role model and showing that God’s way is the BEST way- no matter what!

  • Blair Fairman

    Everyone these days says it IMPOSSIBLE to stay pure before marriage, but you guys are a great example that it IS possible. Thanks for sharing your story! God bless!

  • Nay Nay

    That is awesome!  It is not that hard to remain pure until marriage, if you are given the proper tools to help understand how to do it.

  • Pritchardwhitney87

    Awesome I totally agree :) how freaking sweet

  • Umy62

    love you girl. I thought you had given up on the Most High. Will never stop loving you for loving the Lord. And he will continue to prosper everything that you lay your hand upon. Amen

  • Strawbarie

    Like you and Adam my husband and I did the same in making sure that our relationship was one that would and could honor God before we would actually say ‘I Do’  this I think made our relationship just that much more meaningful with a firm foundation. I love that the love you guys share can be seen it is such a refreshing for many. May your lives continue to bring joy to one another as well as others.        

  • honest

     this is beautiful…why do we allow our children to be influenced by the likes of kim kardasian and vh1 reality women when you have great role models like tia and tamara…they need to write a young womens book i would buy that

  • Raquellamberth

    I totally support this…I too waited till marriage and boy it was so worth it. I now have teenagers and I encourage them to do the same and God will Bless that.

  • TraceyToler

    Wow! What a awesome testimony! I took a vowel of celibacy and its been very hard and the devil is busy! But this article really gave me hope and inspired to press on for the mark! I know God has something wonderfully made just for me! Again thank you for the testimony shared!

  • Rashidas

    Wow!!! that is the type of relationship I want. and I will wait for God to show me who I will have that kind of relationship with. Love it. so awesome!!! To God be the Glory

  • Jasmine Johnson

    I’m going through the same thing. Being celibate. My boyfriend pasted away 6 weeks ago and I just don’t want to go into another awful relationship till I know for sure that God wants me to be in one. Thank you so much for your inspiration. I know for sure I can make it with God help.

  • Pinetten

    I love her even more

  • Anissa

    I agree! My husband and I dated for four years before we got married, and we were both celibate. I was virgin when I married my husband and it was the best decision I have ever made. I feel like that was what God wanted for an it was worth it! It was HARD, but definitely worth the wait! God knows best!

  • Kpickett80

    Well in my relationship though we have not been intimate in any form we call it being holy. Bible says be holy for I am holy.I’ve lived the life of fornication and unclean living and have 3 kids to show for it. But that’s not Gods way. And so going toward marriage my mate loves God and enjoys the fact that we will encounter of first intimate anything our wedding night like God ordained it to be. His way is the only way that works no foul. He died and shed his blood for us to receive his spirit and be lead to do things his way. Now that I get that my life has been fruit and he has blessed me with a man that loves him first and will love me as he loves his bride( the church).

  • Lauren

    Wow, Great inspiration. God bless.

  • Goinalthewaygf

    Beautifully put and N 100% TOTAL AGREEANCE with this post!!!!

  • I totally agree! You want your Soulmate to be that person God has for you. So keeping a clear mind and focus on God is the only way. I commend the both of you. It’s nothing better than being equally yoked. I know from experience. Congratulations and May God continue to bless you both. 

  • Miznita80

    Yes that is wonderful. My fiancé and I are on this same journey right now and it feels great knowing that we are doing it the right way (GODS WILL).

  • PrtyGrl513

    Im really glad I read this article, im going through the same thing right now. I been seeing this wonderful now for about 8 months and we have been intimate not because I dont want to but because he wants to wait for marriage. I’ve been celibate for almost 2yrs now, i’ ve been waiting on someone I wanted to be with, and I found him and he made me see that if.i can wait that long for someone to be with then I cant wait for that someone to marry me. I have a good guy its hard but its so worth it and im going to stick this out until how ever long it takes.. Thank you Tamera and all of you for your stories..

  • Elallen27

    That is amazing! What a living epistle you two are, thank you for sharing and it’s great to hear it, because we don’t hear this type of courtship

    • guest

      That is so true….

  • Ayesha_foote

    Absolutely wonderful!!! This story is such an inspiration! Everything Tamera said is so true! May God continue to bless this union and the child to come!

  • Alshaze47

    Wow! this is really encouraging me.  I’m a 51 year old woman and I want to be married again and I have a friend that I sleep with every now and then, but I realize I dont want to be with him so I decide to do it Gods way and let him send me that special person for me.  I know if I wait for him he will send me that right man….my husband!….so I been praying that God will give me the strength to be strong….I determine to do this with Gods help cause I want to be equally yoke

  • Smitty:)

    This is great and I love the message of god first!!!! May god continue to bless you and your family Tamara :) you should really do a book or show with/for girls and/or teens about gods love,abstinence , celibacy , and success:)

    • Gwkbmr

      I agree, the young girls need guidance these days. It would be a wonderful book.

  • Empresstg

    Wow. I really admire them. And I am 25 my Babi is 27. We are celibate and trusting God is our long distance relationship … Thanks for sharing Tamera

  • Tamikoshobbs

    Tamera you said it all your are right I have been celibate nine years I made a vowed to God to wait until I get married. I am not dating anyone special I decided before I do that I want to emotionally healthy I wanted all that bags to be gone. Well God has grace with strength and compassionate to start dating and I let person know up front that I waiting for marriage some are understand so are not but I not trying to find him I waiting until he finds me. God bless you Tamera and Adam.. you started a standard that is worthy waiting Megan Good did the same thing… I respect you both as black women who care not only about your spirit and soul but you took in consideration the other person as well Guys you rock. God Bless you

  • R. Ramos

    I think that is wonderful and the way God intended for things to be. May God continue to bless their union and their baby.

  • If that’s the case you should of stayed a virgin

    • Kymiroyalty1

      Uhhh what does that have to do with where GOD brought her from and where she is NOW!!! SMH

    • Dorthy Pride

      ALL…have sinned and fall short to the GLORY OF GOD. However,
      Behold…In CHRIST you are a new creation…OLD things have passed away…ALL things have become new.
      If you confess your sins, GOD is faithful and just to forgive you and cleanse you from all unrighteousness. Thank you LORD for your grace and mercy.

  • Abell0066

    Love this gods good

  • Janetnyangau

    I hope we can all hold ourselves accountable.Though not perfect as human beings but damn!Feels good Wen u fight a battle n win.Kudos Tamera for coming out as a role model celebrity n going against the norm of Wat relationships r painted as in this century.

  • Cacib19

    I think that is a wonderful and inspiring decision . Reading this article helped out and I am truely blessed .

  • Seiea Sb Britt

    This was for me. I needed that for strength. It has encouraged me to keep going.

  • Alissac83

    I made some poor decisions on my past relationships — so when I met my “now” husband, I was already celibate for a year.   I asked God if my then boyfriend was meant to be my husband then I’ll do it the right way.  WE waited for 14 months ( a total of 2 years for me), and I got married to my “bunny”….lol  It’s worth it , trust me y’all!

    I wouldn’t change  a thing — What God has out together, let no man put asunder!

  • Joyceobaze

    Well done folks.  Good testimony.  May people learn from your example.  Now go on and enjoy your love for each other.


    I always started on that journey but as I got in a relationship it didn’t go as plan.n throughout the relationship I would constantly tried to go back to being celibate but it only got harder. IM still waiting for the right person n striving for to get through that journey

    • guest

      You can do it… Keep the faith…. stay in the word, and away from those guys who won’t help you follow Christ and live as he (God) wants you to live.

  • Lyssawatlington

    Amen! Before me and my first love got married on 7/8/12 we agreed to be celibate until marriage! Its hard but praying to God makes things way easier. It was wonderful saving ourselves for each other for almost 1 year and joining together the way God intended!

  • Angelicluv23

    Wow, this is Everything I needed to Hear at this Point in my Life. In this day and time where most are saying it is impossible to maintain celibacy until marriage, this shows that through God it is very much Possible. This is really an Encouragement to me as I choose to walk in that same path. Thank you for sharing. 

  • Ella Presley

    Tamera, I applaud you and your husband for remaining celibate before marriage.  The best gift you can give your husband as a new wife is a “VIRTUOUS YOU” on your wedding night.  May God bless you both, and the new baby!!

  • Guleyville

    Thankful for your comments about you and your husband being celibate before marriage. That is a wonderful thing that a man will be celibate with the one person that he loves. You are so right that both persons have to agree and God has to be first in the relationship. God bless you both!

  • I applaud you as of I decided to be celibate before I meet the one I want to make sure that its what I want and what GOD planned.

  • guest

    This is something that can and should be done, but alot of us don’t do it. This is what God commands us to do. God bless you and your husband both and may you continue to keep God first in your lives.

  • Wombatics

    Each Being chooses and shapes their reality. While this is not a shared belief of mine, I appreciate their decision to choose life on their own terms. Congrats to a beautiful couple. 

  • Mk2321

    I applaud her for making that decision, though in an earlier article she admitted that they had slept together before marriage but rededicated themselves to celibacy. 

  • Marlene

    I agree with you and applaud you.