Cat’s Bollocks | RHONY | Season 5, Finale Recap

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Never underestimate a woman born and raised in New York City – AKA I might have one and a half legs up to my arm pits but I got one hell of a temper if you piss me off!

I'm not wearing a jacket, how's my hair?

Aviva loves to beat the proverbial dead horse more than Ramona and that take some serious beating. Here’s what I don’t get – why does Aviva care so much? To take all that mind baggage and refuse to admit that it’s heavy. We have heard ENDLESSLY about  her phobias and paranoia.  Now her obsession with Ramona and Sonja on the dynamics of their lives, and their relationships makes her come off as silly.

She took concern to a whole new level in the fact she said how sad it was to see Sonja on such a downward spiral. She has only known her a few months. How can she say she doesn’t want to be anywhere near her? I wish Aviva hadn’t gone to St Barth’s. She almost ruined the trip for everyone.  She seemed to be suffering the most. She should have stayed in NYC. That kind of trip was not her bag… all! Maybe if she had arrived, checked into hotel with Reid, had a massage and change of clothes, and a good stiff drink. Then she would have chilled out and seen the party girls on their own mission.  She didn’t even get changed from her flight ordeal and went in for the kill with Ramona.

Contrary to what you may think I actually don’t enjoy seeing anyone suffer that much especially when it doesn’t need to happen. Did it bring the drama to the show? Heck Yeah! And we love drama!!! When it comes to just pure entertainment, watching the antics of the ladies are hilarious alone.

Ramona being pushed in the pool – Johnny D being passed around like a joint – dancing on tables – it is fun to watch.

Aviva, from that point onwards, self-nailed her image to the wall in my eyes. We heard non stop about how she felt about the way she was received and when she said to Carole“ You have to get them to apologize or else I’m leaving’ sounded like such a spoiled little brat, then I lost quite a lot of respect for her with all that BS about wanting red carpets for Reid, banners of congratulations etc. Not a good look at.

Come on Aviva – bore off. Quickest way to lose respect is demanding it. (Oh and calling other guests white trash isn’t always a winner either J). Then we all saw another side of her! She is relentless when she is upset. We got the memo, loud and clear.

I never imagined her to be so judgmental either, as she became increasingly so as the season went on to all the women on the show, I feel for her the most as I wouldn’t imagine because I didn’t thin she would come across the way she did when she first came to RHONY. Do I thinks she is spoiled and demanding? Yes. Does she insult people and have a bad temper? Absolutely, but I don’t think she is a bad person. I think she’s carrying a lot of anger. About what, I don’t know.

I’m quite shocked she would allow her father to be such a large part of the show. Putting him up for annihilation by the reality world with what

I'm not a playa I just crush a lot

evidently comes out of his mouth regarding his sex drive. Cringe worthy having a father behave like that and offer squirting orgasms advice to dinner guests. Sorry, I’m no prude, but maybe it was the ‘squirting’ part that took him to a whole new level of gross. Sending him to Ramona’s event, the only man there, as Aviva had only just found out it was the 90th floor? Plueeeeeease! That is a load of bollocks. Yes parents protect their children, but not under those circumstances when they clearly don’t need protecting and a check can come in the mail J

And why did Aviva keep referring to him as 80 years old when he isn’t? Most oldies I know hate having years added by the time they get that old! For effect? Again, she should have stayed clear and that included her 74-year-old dad.

I think Aviva could do with a long vacation and reassessing what she let her self in for, before going another season. I could be wrong, she could be very happy with the way she has been portrayed. We will see at the reunion I’m sure. I’m interested to see her unedited and what she comes out with…

Ramona: I just say what everyone else is thinking – I’m the one that is in the middle of any of the sh*t going down and I own it!

We've run out of my Pinot? That's not funny I'm leaving!

I’ve yet to meet anyone who sits on the fence with Ramona. Love her or loathe her. I personally find her pretty entertaining even though it would have to be in small doses. A major holiday may be too much, but then how she is when the cameras aren’t rolling could be more subdued. Or maybe not!?

Without her and Sonja, their dynamics and their true affection for one another the season I think would have been a bit of a flop as the new girls alone couldn’t carry the show, no way. She’s is the ‘pro’ on the show. She knows what she’s doing, how she’s coming across, what to say in her interviews, the lot. She has it down packed like a formula. She has masses of lovers as well as haters. She gets people talking. Yes, she looks completely off the rails most of the time, with her wild eyes and viper tongue but I think she is a very loyal friend to those she likes and for those she doesn’t, well tough luck.

I think Aviva was way out of line saying what a bad friend she is to Sonja as she has totally got Sonja’s back She’s is also a very generous lady, with a very patient husband J

I liked her when we met, for several reasons but mostly because she is what she is and doesn’t pretend to be anything else. Bugs the crap out of me sometimes, but she isn’t a wallflower and that takes courage, especially on a reality TV show.

Carole: I might be a princess but I am definitely not a drama queen – *I’m a hippy princess who’s happy to talk about butt ****ing*

She is without a doubt a breath of fresh air to the housewives in general. OMG!! Can you imagine her trying to deal with some like Taylor from Beverly Hills? That’s defines chalk and cheese. She’s seems totally down to earth, beautiful and talented. I would have liked to have seen her take a little more control in St Bart’s (seeing as she was the host) and appeared to be pretty flaky when it came to taking a stance, but then she doesn’t like the drama? – and was probably smoking a big fat reefer and preferring to ‘pleasure’ herself rather than dealing with all that shown down with Aviva and Ramonja.

People say she is boring but that depends on what you call boring and whether you like to watch some ones life like hers, super laid back or watch New Jersey reunion?

Heather: My success is built on making woman look and feel their best – Don’t be fooled by the nose that I got, I’m still Heather from the block

I made no secret of the fact that she really got on my nerves for the first half of the season. I saw her as being very ‘in your face’ and full of herself and her own self importance but as the show went on I grew to respect and actually like Heather, She obviously has a

A Princess ranks higher than a Countess, ha ha!

cracking business and business brain, she loves what she does, she does it well and if there was one housewives this season that branded herself brilliantly, it was her. We all know her brand now and even saw the fashion shows. She works her ass off and seems to have solid marriage and very sweet sons so fair play to her.

I liked the fact she had the guts to say how she felt, pretty much from the start. Nobody was going to pull her into anything she didn’t want to be in or put words in this girl’s mouth. Amongst the best being telling Ramona how she felt and standing by her opinion (which btw, didn’t ever waiver really 🙂 even at the end) and also doing what so many people would have like to have done and got A to put a sock in it on several occasions. *Aviva you owe her one, beacuse if she hadn’t have shut your mouth down, it would have been even worse, i.e. unthinkable *

Sonja: A little Sonja will spice up any party – I’m wild, free, broke and the world is my oyster

My name is Kira from the movie Xanadu

Sonja is one of those women that wears her heart on her sleeve and is aside from the very drunken slightly dubious behavior in St Bart’s, far more in control than people give her credit for. She made me laugh so many times this season and I like the fun and laughter in these shows far more than the screaming and bitching that just gets so friggin dull. Yes, interns are sprawled over the house, she is eternally rushing around to catch her tail and still has to get her toaster box filled 🙂 but like Ramona, she brought entertainment value. She appalled viewers in St Bart’s but I found her funny as hell. OK when she couldn’t keep her balance and was drying her dress with a hairdryer it was pretty awkward but hey, chatting up the chef, dancing around, googling white trash with Ramona – very funny stuff! She was on holiday and holds far more stress keeping her home etc and so she had a blow out, literally and figuratively, who cares?

And finally last but not least Lulu To some people living elegantly just comes naturally – To some people coming across as a total fake comes with practice and age

I know everyone loves how much I ‘ loathe’ the countess and the truth is I don’t really. I don’t ‘hate’ her or wish her bad; I just don’t

I think we fooled the viewers with my fake affair story lol

really like her. I find her incredibly snobbish, self-righteous, patronizing beyond words and above all a total phony. * But that’s just on a personal level :-)*

As a viewer, I’m so bored of seeing her on the show. She had her place in the first season or two and now her day is so far gone, she brings nothing to the table other than a big pot to stir with, and we have all seen it before. In 17 episodes she basically only really featured in one right? With the pirate that she made out that she ‘made out’ with to give her some kind of relevance amongst the other ladies. What does she do all day, and do we honestly care?

If I was her I would be bowing out gracefully with all her elegance and class, and take her Chic Ce La Vie with her on her way out – I think its over Casanova.

And to show my respect for the ‘countess’ she is even referred to in a line in my new book – The Gift – here’s that excerpt. Page 166.

On the first day of appearing on national TV as a ‘Real Housewife,’ I’m dropped off by Matt at 10 a.m. wearing his boxer shorts, tied with a chic knot for size-perfection, one of his t-shirts that virtually reached my knees, and I’m barefoot with a pair of silver heels in my hands running into Franco’s building on 14th Street with the wildest, filthiest hair known to mankind.

Now that’s what I call ‘Class with the Cat’.

From this day onwards, everything about me, right down to the wrinkles on my elbows was about to be dissected by the viewers in America.

Get My Book “The Gift” Here!

About the Author
Mother, writer and star of Bravo's Real Housewives of DC. Cat brings the snark, honesty and truth with her new column "Cat's Bollocks" for Reality Wives

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