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Cat’s Bollocks | RHONY | Season 5, Episode 7 Recap

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Good Trip, Bad Fall

I fast-forwarded all the tags lines to ovoid the two cringe worthy ones, straight into Sonja’s head down a bidet in London. Nice.

Then Lulu waking Carole up – what a horrible way to wake up seeing Lulu in a cape, at the end of your bed? Carole said it was a good job she wasn’t pleasuring herself 🙂 I don’t know, probably would have been more entertaining than going for an early morning croquet lesson? I mean come on – on a girl’s weekend trip to London – what do we see??? Couple of restaurants, a spot of shopping and a croquet lesson?? The whole chemistry of that group of girls together is so ‘weird’.

Lulu shows us such desperate insecurity by all her constant one up man ship bs. “I was on the football team, yeah I was basketball – really? “I was a ballet dancer. I was a boxer.”

Carole “I’m a writer, Lulus a singer”. Say no more.

Heather idea of REALLY letting her hair down on the last day was zzzzzz I can’t remember. Oh yes, she wanted to tell Lulu that she gets on everyone’s nerves, not just Carole’s because she doesn’t wear a bra. But instead of saying “Why don’t you stop with the bulls–t phony title, etiquette, rah rah f–king rah because nobody is impressed, nobody cares to be preached to, by you about how to be Chic. We have Carole the REAL princess; remember the one who hid the vibrator under her bed when you came into her room uninvited, she does a pathetic attempt to get her point across when not talking underwear.

We watch Lulu completely oblivious to everything and everyone, and I suddenly had a vision of her as an old woman, suffering from Alzheimer’s. She was definitely tuned into her very own station.

Anyway I have to say, that was such a lame trip and rubbish representation of our great city of London. I thought they could have had drinks out bars and met some locals? Some Brits! Gone to a pub and a club…painted the town read? No? Sonja, I hope you did when the cameras weren’t rolling then. Ramona didn’t miss a thing being N.F.I.

Bye London. Back to NYC. Sonja looks jet lagged, or hung-over, or both and is organizing Aviva and Reid’s 5th Anniversary party at the Empire Room, the bar which features the most revolting carpet in the whole of New York City.

Aviva comes out with her best line, “The countess has really milked this Countess title for a long time”, LMAO and you have only been filming with her a couple of months. 😉

Ramona is wearing the same dress as she is in her intro? That really blue one, hmmm. Anyway, the whole party looks so as my girls would say ‘Awk’. Then just when it couldn’t get more ‘awk’, Aviva bless her falls down the stairs. At that point if I was her, I might have pretended it was worse, called 911, grabbed Reid’s and made a run for it having seen the ‘entertainment’.

OMG I was laughing so hard watching everyone watching her. I’m sorry but *still giggling* that was probably the least appropriate party for their anniversary. It was SO not them! I was half expecting someone to say it was all a joke, but it wasn’t but it was funny as hell to watch! Her performance was like watching American Idol, the auditions that are so wrong and everyone wets themselves with laughter. Reid’s speech was cute, I just tried to close my eyes not look at the carpet or Ramona’s blue dress and picture them standing in a beautiful setting.

Then Ramona and her blue dress get ready for action, Heather puts her teeth in and the bell goes!! Round One.
“Bring it” Ramona’s priceless impression of Heather’s language from 150th street.

“She said, I said, that you said, behind my back, that they had all said, but she said too, that day, no not that day, you lied to me, when we were all there. Well I’m sorry you get that, because I said, that you had said to me, and her, and well, she wasn’t there, well to my face then, and behind my back, that I just couldn’t stand you being phony and unnatural”.

“I get it, she gets it, but I don’t get it and I don’t like you, you said I talk too much, and I smile too much. So right now, I’m going to follow you around the room like a complete freak, bugging the shit out of you, looking like I need a good slap OK? And whilst I’m following you around the room I will grin from ear to ear so everything we are friends and it all cool.”

Ramona is SO FREAKED OUT by such WEIRD behavior that it forces her into the armpits of two-faced Lulu. I was really surprised to see Ramona running for the pits, that isn’t her style? I would have shut Heather down in a heartbeat and she wouldn’t be following me around the room for more 🙂

The fire alarm goes now and Aviva’s looking for the exits whilst Sonja gets her priorities straight and thinking purely hot fire men, uniform, party.

Lulu already has battle on her ‘living elegantly with class and style’ mind and offers to be chief ring leader in shit stirring the pot – between Ramona and Heather – Quelle Surprise 😉

Until next week…

P.S. Thank you so much to everyone for all your congratulations messages re my growing waist line. I really appreciate all your messages!


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