16 & Pregnant Star Nikkole Paulun had been excited about her second pregnancy and future child. But on July 28, she received horrible news that the baby growing inside of her had passed away. She explains:
“Everything was going okay and last month, my doctor told me that if everything was okay, I could deliver on Aug. 25, which was a week before my due date, But then on July 27, I felt really weird all day and I kept telling my mom something didn’t feel right.”
She decided to go to the hospital the following day for peace of mind, but what she received was anguish instead when the doctors told her that her baby no longer had a heartbeat. She says, “but I thought I still felt him moving, so they took me for an ultrasound and they weren’t letting me look at it when they did it.”
The ultrasound technician left the room to get several other doctors who confirmed that the baby didn’t have a heartbeat. Doctors explained to Nikkole that they would have to induce labor to prevent infections and she was induced that day. After hours of labor, Nikkole delivered her stillborn son, already named Ashton at 6:35 PM. She was in such shock that she cried hysterically and refused an autopsy. The autopsy could have revealed what caused her son’s heart to stop beating but she says she was so upset that she didn’t want to know. Still, the hospital tested him for drugs which came back negative.
Nikkole has kept the death of her baby a secret until now. “I didn’t want to tell anybody,” Nikkole explains. “I fought so hard to keep him that I was just ashamed and embarrassed.”
Because Nikkole didn’t want to tell anyone she had lost the baby, she chose to have him cremated instead of having a funeral. She had the ashes sewed into a teddy bear she had purchased for Ashton when she first found out it was a boy. Whenever she gets upset she hugs the teddy bear and prays.
One of the few people she had to tell was her 3-year-old son Lyle who didn’t understand why his brother didn’t make it. Nikkole is still trying to cope with her loss today. Keeping her and her family in our thoughts!
Source: Radar Online
— Teen Mom (@TeenMomRW) February 20, 2013