Real Housewives of New Jersey | Season 4, Episode 13 Recap

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Sit Down and Man Up

Teresa and Joe are heading up to the “Vineyard” to formulate their new drink the “Fabellini”. We get off to a rough start as Teresa tells the viewing audience that she doesn’t like anything that tastes diet, like the Skinnygirl as it tastes “diety”, “I don’t like that”. Oh boy did that get my attention right off the bat. I could spend this whole blog on how that statement was wrong on so many levels, but this is a review of the episode so all I will say is that we will see just how many bottles of Fabellini get sold compared to Skinnygirl.

During the drive Teresa explains to Joe that she wants to build her “brand”. She could learn a thing or two from Bethenny about ‘branding’; naming all her products different names does not a ‘brand’ make. It’s economics 101 sister.

At Melissa and Joe’s house; Corte Ellis arrives to discuss Melissa getting a record deal. Joe immediately states that we “don’t need a label”. Melissa is the voice of reason here stating that she really doesn’t know all the steps to move forward. Good for her realizing that she does need help. Joe Gorga does run a successful business, but it is a very far cry from the music business. Hopefully he realizes that this is out of his scope and doesn’t get in Melissa’s way.

Caroline and Lauren go out for a cup of coffee and just happen to come upon The Chateau the “Central Perk” if you will, of Franklin Lakes and it is empty and available for rent. They take a trip down memory lane and once again Danielle is shown in a montage. It makes me crazy that after all this time of hating on Danielle that the producers feel the need to bring her into the loop so much this season. Seeing Dina in the clip warmed my heart though.

We arrive at Brotherhood Winery, so let the formulation begin. Joe tries to take the lead at the taste testing of the new peach Fabellini and Teresa stands right up for herself and tells him “this is my Fabellini”. I have to hand it to her on that one. It is her name on the line so she should have the final say. I couldn’t let this part of the episode go by without mentioning, that the winery hired a car service to drive Teresa and Joe home. I am sure that the winery doesn’t want to get any flack for having the wine tasting and then letting them leave and get behind the wheel. Very smart move on the part of Brotherhood Winery.

At this point I am feeling the pangs once again of an hour long infomercial. Although it is great to see all the women working hard at getting their business’ started, I feel that it is too much to show all at once and I get the feeling that they are only trying to sell me something, which they are. This group of women needs to be able to find the balance between selling us something every week and sharing how they are working so hard at becoming a success.

Melissa is getting ready to do a photo shoot for her new single I have to admit I like this scene, Melissa seems genuine in her modesty at how grateful she is for the success that is coming her way. Then Joe talks about starting a record label and states that no one owns her, “I own her”. At this point I am shaking my head, does Joe really feel that way or is he just saying that to get a rise out of the viewers.

We arrive at one of Teresa’s book signings and the crowd goes wild. Someone in the crowd says that Joe is here, and that prompts Teresa to say in not such a nice way, “oh Joe is here”. Yet another moment that she is irritated with him. “My book signings have gotten so big that they are classy affairs.” “Says a lot about what I’ve accomplished as an author.” As much as I don’t buy into that, it is a true statement. I’ve met Teresa before at one of her signings and she was nothing but gracious to all of her fans. This was when her first cook book came out and before all of the dirty family laundry started coming out.

Joe is in the background and is having a glass of wine. Don’t you want to know if it is Thursday or not as he only drinks Thursday thru Sunday you know.

Caroline’s long interview, gives us a “prediction”. A prediction that if someone has to go away, someone will get divorced and show her daughters what it is like to raise children on her own and raise them to be strong and independent on their own and how to survive. “There’s a book here” “you heard it here first”. Oh Caroline, you really do tell it like it is.

Jacqueline and Lauren go to lunch to meet with a cosmetics company to see if Lauren would want to put this line into her new store. Jacqueline orders a drink called the “screaming orgasm” and makes everyone uncomfortable at the table. For sure she is doing that for the attention factor and it worked. Although earlier in the luncheon scene you see Jacqueline already sipping on this drink. Very strange editing, yes I pay attention to that silly stuff.

Back at the book signing Kathy and Richie arrive to support Teresa, yea right. Kathy lets Teresa know that she is going to have a tasting for her deserts at a local ice cream shop and the discussion goes immediately to Teresa’s deserts in this most recent cook book. Both women grew up with the same recipes as they ARE family. Over the years my feeling is that all of the recipes were the same in the family and always wonder about who really owns them.

Kathy is setting up her tasting at the local ice cream shop. I hand it to Kathy at how hard she is working on getting her desert line out there to make some money. Everything she makes looks so good, her presentation is very professional. Richie calls on one of his business associates with a large commercial desert company to taste Kathy’s confections.

Teresa and Jacqueline discuss going out to Napa and it is a very uncomfortable conversation to listen to. A ton of crap is said between the two, and they leave it at that and will just have a good time together on the trip. This ‘trip’ that has been mentioned and played up for the past 13 episodes and has yet to begin. I hope the hype of this trip is not better than the actual trip.

Now we go to the meeting of the ‘men’. Chris holds court in his ‘man cave’. Rich and Joe Gorga get the discussion started about how they are going to fly to San Francisco and then rent RV’s and head out to Napa. The big deal is how Teresa and Joe will be riding with Melissa and Joe as Jacqueline doesn’t want them in her RV anymore. Remember now the therapist said that they should not be in the same RV together. It is sweet that all the men are sticking up for their ‘women’. Joe Giudice arrives and it looks like he is already drunk. In my circles they call this arriving with a ‘foreign load’. The men discuss when they lost their virginity they all lie, laugh and move on.

Now that Joe Giudice has arrived, Chris starts laying out the ground rules for this important business/pleasure trip to Napa. Joe Giudice starts talking smack about all the articles written in the magazines. Do Joe and Teresa think we are all idiots and think that these magazines make this stuff up? Well sure most of it is fiction, but believe me, not in this case. Teresa is feeding all this information to the magazines.

Chris is trying to get through to Joe Giudice and is met with deaf ears. The men just want to ‘keep the peace’ between the wives. Oh yes, this will happen.

Of course now the two Joe’s start putting their issues on the table, nothing like a drunk man trying to get his point of view across. Joe Giudice tells his brother in law that the whole thing between them, is that he borrowed tools from him and never returned them. Really? Yet I do realize that men get mad at each other over the smallest things. Joe proceeds to continue his drunken rant telling the other men pretty much that he is better than the rest. I’ve said it before I will say it again; all of the drinking going on in this franchise just turns me off.

The actual trip storyline will begin playing out next week. Till then, please comment below and let me know your take on this episode.

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