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The Real Husbands Of Hollywood | Season 1, Episode 1 Recap

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Note: The Real Husbands Of Hollywood is part scripted and part improvised — all of the stars play light parodic versions of themselves. Kevin Hart, Nick Cannon, Boris Kodjoe, Duane Martin, J B Smoove and Robin Thicke play spouses with plenty of time on their hands. The show parodies, the Real Housewives, Basketball Wives, Love & Hip Hop very well – it’s the realest fakest reality show – Unreality.

Kevin Hart is rolling in his Rolls Royce enjoying life as a Hollywood star – His Laugh At My Pain DVD, selling out arenas worldwide with his side splitting comedy, his starring role in Think Like A Man – then bird poop falls on his face, he is Mr New Money.

He arrives at Nick Cannon’s house with his doo boy handing out pictures of himself. He greets JB Smoove who is The Hater.

Then we meet Boris Kodjoe The Pretty Mutha f@)#*er! Kevin claims he looks almost as good as Boris.

Boris: “No you don’t”

Duane Martin is Mr Hollywood Shuffle. Kevin shows off his dope watch which is an Omar Petit Chumpichanamin, a fake of course. Duane is the man who is always trying new get rich quick schemes.

Kevin brings his scantily clad ladies to a children’s party. He was unaware that this was a children’s party.

Nick Cannon is wearing a Run DMC chain. Mariah Carey is apparently hiding from Kevin Hart. Nick also states he bought his house before he married Mariah. Nick Cannon is Mr Get-A-Check.

Nick is still looking for the return on his money from the 5 star hotel in Haiti. Which they would have been making some serious money had Wyclef won his nomination for President of Haiti.

“Shut the fugee up!”

Tiffany the babysitter aka the hood spy turns up to spy on Kevin. Duane showcases his Break-A-Way suit. Boris inspects Duane’s suit who breaks the fourth wall by plugging his own clothing line World Of Alfa.com. Nice.

Kevin tastes a pie that was baked by Nick’s nephew, Calvin, who he nicknames ‘Fat Jesus’ and tells Calvin that the pie tastes terrible. So Calvin kicks Kevin in the nuts. Kevin wants to put some paws on the child (Lil’ Scrappy LHHATL), needless to say Calvin beats the fart out Kevin.

Later Kevin meets with his lawyer, Trina Shaw, to sue the 11 year old Calvin. Trina also represents, Nick Cannon, Boris Kodjoe, JB Smoove, Duane Martin, Tisha Campbell, Nicole Ari Parker-Kodjoe, and her most successful client Leonardo DiCaprio.

“You Represent white people?” Kevin is shocked.

Kevin hosts his weekly poker game with the guys. He tells the men that, mitches are men who act like b*tches. Nelly invites Robin Thicke to the game, Kevin is not happy about this, until he sees Robin’s wife, Paula Patton.

“Yo Paula Patton is in my driveway. I’m about to bag it!”

Kevin lets us know he would never get married again unless it was to Paula Patton, Mariah Carey if she dumped Nick, or Nicole if she dumped Boris (fat chance!) of course Tisha, well not Tisha, as she has a crush on Kevin. By the time Kevin gets to the door, Paula has driven off. Kevin is about to deny Robin entry until he realizes Paula is coming back to eventually pick up her husband. Robin tells the gang of his escapades, one where during a snow boarding accident, he ends up unconscious and wakes up with Mick Jagger giving him a hot chocolate.

How old is he now, dead & a half?

Robin retorts Kevin is funny and he should try stand up. JB and Kevin argue over who is the best stand up comedian, JB laments over the fact that Kevin stole his pickle joke. Kevin says it’s his joke and proceeds to tell the table:

“I pull down my pants and the girl goes ‘eww, look at your pickle’. I go what’s the dill?” Nobody laughs.

Robin Thicke beats everybody at poker. Kevin is a sore loser. Lastly Robins states he didn’t think the game would be as much fun as his normal game at Prince’s house. Everyone is impressed, except Kevin. Kevin tells everyone to leave and go and play with Prince and Robin cannot come back to his house.

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